This is where we call Home...

It is amazing how our life has changed in this past year, and even more in these last few weeks. Mike and I have gone from a high level of uncertainty, to a place where life makes so much more sense than it ever has. Hinesight is definitely 20/20 and everything just fits when and where God has intended. As someone used to say to me, "Life is never promised to be a rose garden", but here lately, I feel as though I am seeing it through rose colored glasses. Good thing, maybe, or maybe not. Either way, I am content and looking forward to what God has promised for me and my three loves.

About four weeks ago, we were bombarded with several bouts of bad news all in a matter of three hours. If was very difficult to say the least, but these "bouts" led us to an even greater love for one another and our boys, a beautiful new home that feels more like ours than when we owned our own, and a love for God deeper than ever imagined. I sense God's promises coming true, even if just a small bit at a time. I have not figured out what is in store for us, and we still have our list of struggles, but all I am doing is looking up and how glorious that is!

So, with that said, here is a sneak peek into our new home. Please forgive the mess! Unpacking is still underway.

I am Barabbas

I feel like a spiritual failure, but not in God's eyes. I am trying to believe that 100%. He sees my suffering, my pain, my financial hardships. I am working so hard to give God the glory for everything, no matter the storm, no matter the stack of twenty past due bills on the desk. Creditors are calling, and I am so afraid. The enemy keeps throwing up fears in my face and to tell you the truth, I would be lying if I said I wasn't afraid. But what am I really afraid of? At this point, not being able to care for my little blessings, Garrrett and Cole. Being able to provide food, shelter and clothing. As much as I love that they are growing healthy and strong, I don't want them to grow too much b/c I can't afford to get them new shoes. Is that horrible of me to say? I can't get my thoughts and feelings on the right track. Thier well being is all that matters to me now and even that is so hard to succeed at. They have no idea what mommy and daddy are enduring right now. It is scary and I cry.

Random thoughts are pouring out of me right now. Our pastor has been doing a series called "vantage point" that is leading us up to Easter and the story of Christ's death, burial and resurrection. We learned about the thief and murderer, Barabbas, whom was supposed to have died the death that Jesus received, but instead, was freed by the people. What did he do to deserve this? Nothing. But how is he any different than we are today? We have been freed from our debt and by grace are we saved through faith. We didn't have to do anything but accept Jesus and believe Him to be our Lord and Saviour.

I was given a gift today; seeing Jesus in a different light, so much, that the cross is much more personal to me than ever before. Jesus' crucifiction was no mistake. The day that He died, and all of the occurances that led up to him being crowned with thorns and nailed to that cross, was a perfect picture of what He did and is doing for us everyday. He took the debt that Barabbas owed and bled for him. I am Barabbas. Those were my thorns, and tears, and blood.

The church has been so gracious to the community and the members; helping those in need. Whether it be financial, spiritual, physical, they want to help. At what point do I reach out and ask for help? I am not a proud woman, but more embarrassed of what we are going through. Is that a form of pride? I know we need help and I want it so bad but a part of me thinks that we are undeserving and there are still others out there worse off than us. How far do I have to fall before I am saved? Or will I ever be saved from this pit that we are in? What are we supposed to learn from this? I am struggling and need direction. Burrying myself in the Word is the only thing that I know to do. Falling on my knees and spending every waking breath whispering prayers of redemption is all that I have left to do. There is no money, there aren't many worldly posessions left, no vanity or pride. Is this where God is wanting us to be before the blessings come? And for how long? I am confused, afraid and hurting, but Joy is what I want.

Beach babies!

Settled

It has been 2.5 months since moving back to Orlando and I am still unpacking boxes.  The last two months have been interesting to say the least, and "moving" never really ends at your final destination.  Mike and I placed most of our belongings in a storage unit with only the necessities in tow to our temporary home.  I thought by taking minimal belongings to "live" with would transition us into simple living, but it has been far from simple.  My perception of "minimal" hasn't quite agreed with the living space that we have been provided (although I am very grateful for even that).

Our family of four, which includes a toddler and a three year old (who seems to be more like 15 and hormonal), crammed into two 10x10 rooms is quite the sight to see.  I pride myself (most of the time) for organization, but lately I haven't felt up to the Martha Stewart standard that I seem to put myself up to.  I am more like that 15 year old hormonal, messy teenager that I just so cleverly described Garrett as.  I haven't gotten into a groove yet, but I am praying for organized living soon!  Please God!!!  

Anyway, on to the next item of "one way" discussion.  Let's see...well, I am challenging myself to one month of extremely limited Facebook.  Without going into too much detail, it has been a HUGE struggle and time waster for me and I was starting to spend more time and feelings on there than I had to spare.  Blogging doesn't seem to be that much of a better decision for time wasting, but at least it is an outlet for me that I very much need these days.  My close friends and loved ones are hopefully reading this blog, so I haven't totally removed myself from cyber society. Dear FB friends, I will not be on FB much so please email me!  Don't tempt me with the "facebook" notifications that ever so cleverly lure me via my gmail inbox.  I am trying to work on a better controlled time frame allowance.  :)  Unfortunately, my plan of staying away 100% from the temptation, failed, as my need to stay connected with some family members/friends that are EXTREMELY important to me, won the battle.  I love you guys!  But, I failed my personal test.  Better luck next time I say.  

We just had Garrett's third birthday party today.  The kids were so much fun and had a blast when a real firetruck showed up in front of our house for display.  All I can say is thank you Orange County Fire Rescue!  You are the best!

I made Garrett's cake this year, a firetruck fondant cake.  My sister in law and best friend Christi came over to help me with my vision.  It turned out pretty well considering this was my first "carved into shape" cake.  Garrett loved it and now wants a "McQueen" birthday cake.  My dear child, baking times for Lightening McQueen birthday cakes are about 364 days.  

Mike and I had a great time for my birthday.  Wait, let me back up.  A dear friend started my day off with treating me to a pedicure and sushi (YUM!), which was a much needed pick me up.  I love her!  But more b/c we have been dear friends for so long and know pretty much everything there is to know about one another.  I was definitely pampered, and loved every minute of it. 

So, Mike bought me an absolutely stunning necklace for my birthday.  It is of our boys; I could not have asked for anything more lovely.  I know that I will wear this everyday that I can along with the diamond stud earrings I have been wearing since my first mothers' day three years ago.  He topped the evening off by taking me to New Smyrna Beach for dinner at Chases on the beach, a little bar and grill that has THE BEST spinach dip, coconut shrimp and veggie wraps ever!  It was far from a candle lit dinner but any dinner with my hubbie, alone, is great in my book.  Our intention was to stroll the beach before heading back home to our babies, but it was quite the chilly night.  We then opted for a "stroll" through the cheesy 24 hour touristy beach shops that are ever so notorious for tie-dye and flourescent destination t-shirts.  I did happen upon a cute pair of pink daisy sterling silver earrings that I fell in love with and were the perfect addition to my birthday celebration.  

I have captured this weekend in a few pictures that I hope you enjoy!  Good night my dear friends!  Sweet Dreams.

Love,

Stephanie

Nail polish combo that will last...

I have been addicted to making sure my nails look nice recently, so every few days I change my polish to a fresh coat. I wanted to share my personal preference of nail color after many failed attempts to get the perfect manicure that will last and not chip. Here is my recipe for the perfect polish with minimal maintenance.

1. Always start with a nourished but lotion free, oil free nail. I use a cuticle and nail treatment before every polish change. Jil Jordan French Cuticle Treatment (sweet almond oil, awapuhi, aloe vera, and seaweed)is a great one that I have been using for a few years now. After treating your nails, take a cotton swab of nail polish remover and swipe it across every nail even if you do not have existing color. This will remove all traces of oil and dirt.

2. Using a base coat will allow your main color to go on smooth and even, and will keep your nail from stains that darker polishes leave behind. I like to use OPI (you can now get this at Target) base coat or Sally Hansen MAXIMUM GROWTH Base + Top Coat. These are the best base coats I have found. For a natural tone with a hint of pink, I then follow the dried base coat with two coats of OPI Hearts and Tarts (sheer)or Miso Happy With This Color (opaque). Allow to dry several minutes.

3. Apply one coat of Sally Hansen NO CHIP ACRYLIC top coat. This is so crucial! This is the best there is (so far). (I also like the Acrylic Top Coat from OPI but it is so hard to find). The NO CHIP ACRYLIC coat gives your nails a shiny coat that is hard and will last for days. Very similar to the top coats in the salons. I love this stuff. Make sure you also add a top coat to the outer tips of your nails.

4. 45 seconds after your final coat, spray nails with OPI RapiDry spray. This is a miracle spray, I swear by it.

That is it! Make sure you touch up your nails as needed with the Acrylic NO CHIP top coat. I like to do it every other day just to keep my nails really, really shiny.

Enjoy my recommendations!

a few of my favorite things...

It is 3pm in the afternoon and I am just now getting a moment to pamper and "pretty" myself up today. My shower and beauty routine usually takes place in the morning before Mike leaves for work, but today was a different story. So, with that said, I had to put the products down to blog about them. It was now or never. Here are a few of my favorite things:

1. Sunsilk Waves of Envy Sea mist. Does wonders on naturally wavy hair like mine and claims to work on straight hair as well. Gives you the "just off the beach look". Spray on damp hair, blow dry and go. Magic.

2. L'Oreal Bare Naturale mascara. LOVE IT! The brush bristles are very long and thick, makes my lashes jump out.

3. Bare Escentuals Mineral makeup. Unless I am begged to try something new, this is the makeup for me. No fuss. No creamy, goo-ey mess. I have oily skin so less is best. I used to purchase it directly from Bare Escentuals every few months, but seeing as it is pricey, I now get it from reputable sources on ebay. Much cheaper and is new. If you are weary of ebay, there are Bare Escentuals stores going up in the malls. Go that route to buy, or Sephora is a great shop to buy from as well. Sephora = dangerous on the wallet, so beware.

4. Origins Ginger Souffle. My favorite lotion in the whole world. But I only allow myself to buy one small container per year. Pricey so I save it for special occasions.

5. Trish McEvoy No. 9 Blackberry and Vanilla Perfume. So elegant, fresh and natural. Again, on the pricey side of perfumes, but I usually don't get any until holiday's or birthday. (babe, hint)

That is it for now! Gotta blow dry my hair before it dries. Later Ladies (and Gents).

Stephanie

My mama's chicken pot pie

There is nothing better than my mom's chicken pot pie. It is one of those meals that heals you from the inside out and makes you feel the love and literal warmth of the hands that prepared it. On gloomy, rainy days such as today, here in Nashville, TN, it is the perfect evening for some warm home cookin' inspired by my precious mother. So, with my apron tied and oven mitts on the side, I dove into the fridge for my necessities. I will spare the details of what I did and did not have available according to the recipe, BUT, I came up with a version of my own, that I am sure will please the Sofka household.

As I sit here writing, I am surrounded by the aroma of hot chicken and biscuits baking in the oven, a dim glow overhead my "thinking" chair and the sweet sound of two baby boys sleeping their cares away. Cole is upstairs in his crib, sleeping with a gentle wheeze of his semi-clogged little nose, and Garrett sighs every so often trying to get cozy on the arm of the couch. Both draped in their blankets of choice, I wonder what they are dreaming about this very moment? Are they comforted by the light fragrance of freshly baked bread, or mommy's hazelnut coffee that I brewed just a short time ago? Does it unconsciously comfort them as did the chicken pot pie when I was young? It is the smells of home that take you back to a place in child hood where nothing seems to matter but what was to come in the play yard or what was on the table to eat at meal time. It is this very thing that I pray I can re-create for my sons, just as my mother did for my two brothers and I. As for me and my house, we are having my mothers' chicken pot pie and oh, how wonderful the memory of tonight will be.