Weight loss

Agh! I just deleted my full page of writing and I feel so sick to my stomach! Okay, I will try to recap as I best as I did, but now due to lack of time and little kiddos running around at my feet, I will have to make this quick.

So as I was saying...April marked the month where I promised myself a new body and the ability to wear a bikini this year. Guess what? It didn't happen. I am a little frustrated because everyday stresses and factors really get to me emotionally and once that happens, it is easier for me to "give up" and "give in" to something cozy and warm then to push myself further.

When I am emotionally or physically worn out from the day, the last thing I want to do is workout and the first thing that enters my head to do is sit down with a book or just watch the kids. (Okay side note, this post is going the opposite direction as my first one, so I hope I am happy with the outcome). However, there are other times that it appears I am just being lazy, but in my heart I am more overwhelmed with the stresses if life that I just want to sleep or sit and stare blankly into nothing. I know I have had a really hard time with depression in the past, but is it really depression? Or has laziness been my insta-cure for my emotions and how I deal with them? I really have no idea, but I need to find out quickly. I have been carrying around and extra 20 lbs of flab for the past four years and I am so sickened over it. Never in my life have I had to deal with weight issues, so this is all new to me.

Just when I know I am ready to make a change, I stick with it for a few days then fall off my plan, yet again. So what is it? Laziness, depression or stress. Or all three? Or is there more to it?

Today is a new day and I am going to try my best this time. My prayer is that I stick with it b/c the weight is physically starting to interfere with how I want to live on a daily basis.

I have started a calorie intake journal with just plain pen and paper. So as I move along in this weight loss journey, I will share it from time to time.

Have a blessed day!

Steph

Return of the Binky...

I never really decided when I would "wean" Cole off of the constant need for his binky, rather I let it come naturally. I figured, once the binky(s) run out, or get lost, that is when it will happen. That day came and went about two weeks ago when we were packing up for the move to our new place.

He did very well, and in some cases, I really don't think he missed it. Yesterday rolled around, and while unpacking what seemed to be a never ending sea of boxes, I discovered it. THE binky. The decision to not discard of it immediately seems to be one I might regret. By nightfall, and close to bedtime, Cole so effortlessly, reached his little hand up to the counter (wait...when did he get so big to reach the counters?) and slid it off the ledge, and straight to his mouth. Okay, I just realized something. How long had that binky been missing and what germs did it pick up by being in moving boxes? Gross. I need to find it now and toss it.

Okay, so anyway, Cole has been attached to this thing for the last 24 hours and has a HUGE fit when I take it away. I can't help but to chuckle under my breath a little b/c he is so incredibly adorable when he throws his little tantrums. I dare not let him see me laugh, otherwise he will figure out how to ALWAYS get his way. Binky, you win for now, but we will meet again very soon my friend.

Speaking of security, Cole has been attached to the same blanket since birth and he never leaves it behind. I love this, but his attachment has turned into something even bigger. A second blanket has entered his life and he can't live without it. I originally bought this "2nd" cozy blanket to keep in the car to avoid bringing #1 everywhere, thus increasing wear and tear. Well, my plan has turned his need into a major obsession. Every morning when he wakes, I pick up both blankies, throw them over my shoulder, then up comes Cole, onto my hip and his head nestled on my chest and into the sea of blankie coziness. I love that he loves something(s) so much. He is so passionate and never forgets about them. Hmmm, I could transition into so many different topics here, but I will keep this post focused. Oh the urge!

I know a day will come when Blankie #1, Blankie #2, and little Bink will be just a memory for him (and I), so I want to savor the sweetness as long as I can. For now, he is my baby, and I will treasure every snuggle and cuddle that they provide my little guy. My baby. My love.

Change of direction. I can't write about Cole and not about Garrett, I have guilty mom sydrome! Is that normal when there is a household with more than one child? Anyway, I literally cannot believe how much Garrett gas grown. He will be four years old in just 2 short months; where has this time gone? The one thing that sticks out in my mind about Garrett, is that he is very caring and sensitive about life. He gets this from Mike , but I know he gets a lot from me too. When he gets attached to something, he cares for it deeply and never wants to let go. This is not just physical things, this love is also for people, ideas, and places. For example, we had the delight of talking to all three grandparents on Skype this week. Last night was my parents, and tonight my mother-in-law. Emotionally, today was especially hard for Garrett, as he woke up later than normal and missed sending Daddy off to work this morning. This has become quite the routine since being in the new house, and I have to admit, it is one of my new favorite things to do. So, after a day of emotional stress, Garrett "needed" to talk to his Grandma Ju-Ju, and was ecstatic when the time came to do so. But as expected, when time came for goodbyes, he broke down and didn't want to let her go. This breaks my heart, but just as I said about Cole, I love that Garrett LOVES so much. He is my little sweetheart and is so caring for me, his daddy, little brother, family, friends and toys. I hope he never changes. This is my prayer for him.

Sleep tight my little men. I love you.

Crazy Love

I have so many things on my heart and mind tonight, but I cant seem to get them into words. I have always been a decent writer, so naturally, journaling/blogging used to come easy for me. Not so much these days. Maybe it is because I have too much that I want to write about and I don't know where to start? or that the very girl that I "used" to be is gone? My priorities are different than ever, but I still have this burn in my soul to write this all out for my future to see. So, here I am, laptop in hand, lots of thoughts, but words are scarce. This is what I will leave you with for today.

After browsing my newly organized bookshelf for a snippet of knowledge and/or truth, I came to page 119 of the book called "Crazy Love". What is Love? " This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us."

I John 3:16-20

This is where we call Home...

It is amazing how our life has changed in this past year, and even more in these last few weeks. Mike and I have gone from a high level of uncertainty, to a place where life makes so much more sense than it ever has. Hinesight is definitely 20/20 and everything just fits when and where God has intended. As someone used to say to me, "Life is never promised to be a rose garden", but here lately, I feel as though I am seeing it through rose colored glasses. Good thing, maybe, or maybe not. Either way, I am content and looking forward to what God has promised for me and my three loves.

About four weeks ago, we were bombarded with several bouts of bad news all in a matter of three hours. If was very difficult to say the least, but these "bouts" led us to an even greater love for one another and our boys, a beautiful new home that feels more like ours than when we owned our own, and a love for God deeper than ever imagined. I sense God's promises coming true, even if just a small bit at a time. I have not figured out what is in store for us, and we still have our list of struggles, but all I am doing is looking up and how glorious that is!

So, with that said, here is a sneak peek into our new home. Please forgive the mess! Unpacking is still underway.

I am Barabbas

I feel like a spiritual failure, but not in God's eyes. I am trying to believe that 100%. He sees my suffering, my pain, my financial hardships. I am working so hard to give God the glory for everything, no matter the storm, no matter the stack of twenty past due bills on the desk. Creditors are calling, and I am so afraid. The enemy keeps throwing up fears in my face and to tell you the truth, I would be lying if I said I wasn't afraid. But what am I really afraid of? At this point, not being able to care for my little blessings, Garrrett and Cole. Being able to provide food, shelter and clothing. As much as I love that they are growing healthy and strong, I don't want them to grow too much b/c I can't afford to get them new shoes. Is that horrible of me to say? I can't get my thoughts and feelings on the right track. Thier well being is all that matters to me now and even that is so hard to succeed at. They have no idea what mommy and daddy are enduring right now. It is scary and I cry.

Random thoughts are pouring out of me right now. Our pastor has been doing a series called "vantage point" that is leading us up to Easter and the story of Christ's death, burial and resurrection. We learned about the thief and murderer, Barabbas, whom was supposed to have died the death that Jesus received, but instead, was freed by the people. What did he do to deserve this? Nothing. But how is he any different than we are today? We have been freed from our debt and by grace are we saved through faith. We didn't have to do anything but accept Jesus and believe Him to be our Lord and Saviour.

I was given a gift today; seeing Jesus in a different light, so much, that the cross is much more personal to me than ever before. Jesus' crucifiction was no mistake. The day that He died, and all of the occurances that led up to him being crowned with thorns and nailed to that cross, was a perfect picture of what He did and is doing for us everyday. He took the debt that Barabbas owed and bled for him. I am Barabbas. Those were my thorns, and tears, and blood.

The church has been so gracious to the community and the members; helping those in need. Whether it be financial, spiritual, physical, they want to help. At what point do I reach out and ask for help? I am not a proud woman, but more embarrassed of what we are going through. Is that a form of pride? I know we need help and I want it so bad but a part of me thinks that we are undeserving and there are still others out there worse off than us. How far do I have to fall before I am saved? Or will I ever be saved from this pit that we are in? What are we supposed to learn from this? I am struggling and need direction. Burrying myself in the Word is the only thing that I know to do. Falling on my knees and spending every waking breath whispering prayers of redemption is all that I have left to do. There is no money, there aren't many worldly posessions left, no vanity or pride. Is this where God is wanting us to be before the blessings come? And for how long? I am confused, afraid and hurting, but Joy is what I want.

Beach babies!

Settled

It has been 2.5 months since moving back to Orlando and I am still unpacking boxes.  The last two months have been interesting to say the least, and "moving" never really ends at your final destination.  Mike and I placed most of our belongings in a storage unit with only the necessities in tow to our temporary home.  I thought by taking minimal belongings to "live" with would transition us into simple living, but it has been far from simple.  My perception of "minimal" hasn't quite agreed with the living space that we have been provided (although I am very grateful for even that).

Our family of four, which includes a toddler and a three year old (who seems to be more like 15 and hormonal), crammed into two 10x10 rooms is quite the sight to see.  I pride myself (most of the time) for organization, but lately I haven't felt up to the Martha Stewart standard that I seem to put myself up to.  I am more like that 15 year old hormonal, messy teenager that I just so cleverly described Garrett as.  I haven't gotten into a groove yet, but I am praying for organized living soon!  Please God!!!  

Anyway, on to the next item of "one way" discussion.  Let's see...well, I am challenging myself to one month of extremely limited Facebook.  Without going into too much detail, it has been a HUGE struggle and time waster for me and I was starting to spend more time and feelings on there than I had to spare.  Blogging doesn't seem to be that much of a better decision for time wasting, but at least it is an outlet for me that I very much need these days.  My close friends and loved ones are hopefully reading this blog, so I haven't totally removed myself from cyber society. Dear FB friends, I will not be on FB much so please email me!  Don't tempt me with the "facebook" notifications that ever so cleverly lure me via my gmail inbox.  I am trying to work on a better controlled time frame allowance.  :)  Unfortunately, my plan of staying away 100% from the temptation, failed, as my need to stay connected with some family members/friends that are EXTREMELY important to me, won the battle.  I love you guys!  But, I failed my personal test.  Better luck next time I say.  

We just had Garrett's third birthday party today.  The kids were so much fun and had a blast when a real firetruck showed up in front of our house for display.  All I can say is thank you Orange County Fire Rescue!  You are the best!

I made Garrett's cake this year, a firetruck fondant cake.  My sister in law and best friend Christi came over to help me with my vision.  It turned out pretty well considering this was my first "carved into shape" cake.  Garrett loved it and now wants a "McQueen" birthday cake.  My dear child, baking times for Lightening McQueen birthday cakes are about 364 days.  

Mike and I had a great time for my birthday.  Wait, let me back up.  A dear friend started my day off with treating me to a pedicure and sushi (YUM!), which was a much needed pick me up.  I love her!  But more b/c we have been dear friends for so long and know pretty much everything there is to know about one another.  I was definitely pampered, and loved every minute of it. 

So, Mike bought me an absolutely stunning necklace for my birthday.  It is of our boys; I could not have asked for anything more lovely.  I know that I will wear this everyday that I can along with the diamond stud earrings I have been wearing since my first mothers' day three years ago.  He topped the evening off by taking me to New Smyrna Beach for dinner at Chases on the beach, a little bar and grill that has THE BEST spinach dip, coconut shrimp and veggie wraps ever!  It was far from a candle lit dinner but any dinner with my hubbie, alone, is great in my book.  Our intention was to stroll the beach before heading back home to our babies, but it was quite the chilly night.  We then opted for a "stroll" through the cheesy 24 hour touristy beach shops that are ever so notorious for tie-dye and flourescent destination t-shirts.  I did happen upon a cute pair of pink daisy sterling silver earrings that I fell in love with and were the perfect addition to my birthday celebration.  

I have captured this weekend in a few pictures that I hope you enjoy!  Good night my dear friends!  Sweet Dreams.

Love,

Stephanie

Nail polish combo that will last...

I have been addicted to making sure my nails look nice recently, so every few days I change my polish to a fresh coat. I wanted to share my personal preference of nail color after many failed attempts to get the perfect manicure that will last and not chip. Here is my recipe for the perfect polish with minimal maintenance.

1. Always start with a nourished but lotion free, oil free nail. I use a cuticle and nail treatment before every polish change. Jil Jordan French Cuticle Treatment (sweet almond oil, awapuhi, aloe vera, and seaweed)is a great one that I have been using for a few years now. After treating your nails, take a cotton swab of nail polish remover and swipe it across every nail even if you do not have existing color. This will remove all traces of oil and dirt.

2. Using a base coat will allow your main color to go on smooth and even, and will keep your nail from stains that darker polishes leave behind. I like to use OPI (you can now get this at Target) base coat or Sally Hansen MAXIMUM GROWTH Base + Top Coat. These are the best base coats I have found. For a natural tone with a hint of pink, I then follow the dried base coat with two coats of OPI Hearts and Tarts (sheer)or Miso Happy With This Color (opaque). Allow to dry several minutes.

3. Apply one coat of Sally Hansen NO CHIP ACRYLIC top coat. This is so crucial! This is the best there is (so far). (I also like the Acrylic Top Coat from OPI but it is so hard to find). The NO CHIP ACRYLIC coat gives your nails a shiny coat that is hard and will last for days. Very similar to the top coats in the salons. I love this stuff. Make sure you also add a top coat to the outer tips of your nails.

4. 45 seconds after your final coat, spray nails with OPI RapiDry spray. This is a miracle spray, I swear by it.

That is it! Make sure you touch up your nails as needed with the Acrylic NO CHIP top coat. I like to do it every other day just to keep my nails really, really shiny.

Enjoy my recommendations!

a few of my favorite things...

It is 3pm in the afternoon and I am just now getting a moment to pamper and "pretty" myself up today. My shower and beauty routine usually takes place in the morning before Mike leaves for work, but today was a different story. So, with that said, I had to put the products down to blog about them. It was now or never. Here are a few of my favorite things:

1. Sunsilk Waves of Envy Sea mist. Does wonders on naturally wavy hair like mine and claims to work on straight hair as well. Gives you the "just off the beach look". Spray on damp hair, blow dry and go. Magic.

2. L'Oreal Bare Naturale mascara. LOVE IT! The brush bristles are very long and thick, makes my lashes jump out.

3. Bare Escentuals Mineral makeup. Unless I am begged to try something new, this is the makeup for me. No fuss. No creamy, goo-ey mess. I have oily skin so less is best. I used to purchase it directly from Bare Escentuals every few months, but seeing as it is pricey, I now get it from reputable sources on ebay. Much cheaper and is new. If you are weary of ebay, there are Bare Escentuals stores going up in the malls. Go that route to buy, or Sephora is a great shop to buy from as well. Sephora = dangerous on the wallet, so beware.

4. Origins Ginger Souffle. My favorite lotion in the whole world. But I only allow myself to buy one small container per year. Pricey so I save it for special occasions.

5. Trish McEvoy No. 9 Blackberry and Vanilla Perfume. So elegant, fresh and natural. Again, on the pricey side of perfumes, but I usually don't get any until holiday's or birthday. (babe, hint)

That is it for now! Gotta blow dry my hair before it dries. Later Ladies (and Gents).

Stephanie

My mama's chicken pot pie

There is nothing better than my mom's chicken pot pie. It is one of those meals that heals you from the inside out and makes you feel the love and literal warmth of the hands that prepared it. On gloomy, rainy days such as today, here in Nashville, TN, it is the perfect evening for some warm home cookin' inspired by my precious mother. So, with my apron tied and oven mitts on the side, I dove into the fridge for my necessities. I will spare the details of what I did and did not have available according to the recipe, BUT, I came up with a version of my own, that I am sure will please the Sofka household.

As I sit here writing, I am surrounded by the aroma of hot chicken and biscuits baking in the oven, a dim glow overhead my "thinking" chair and the sweet sound of two baby boys sleeping their cares away. Cole is upstairs in his crib, sleeping with a gentle wheeze of his semi-clogged little nose, and Garrett sighs every so often trying to get cozy on the arm of the couch. Both draped in their blankets of choice, I wonder what they are dreaming about this very moment? Are they comforted by the light fragrance of freshly baked bread, or mommy's hazelnut coffee that I brewed just a short time ago? Does it unconsciously comfort them as did the chicken pot pie when I was young? It is the smells of home that take you back to a place in child hood where nothing seems to matter but what was to come in the play yard or what was on the table to eat at meal time. It is this very thing that I pray I can re-create for my sons, just as my mother did for my two brothers and I. As for me and my house, we are having my mothers' chicken pot pie and oh, how wonderful the memory of tonight will be.

Over the Counter Drugs for your child

Okay, I am going to preface my post with this statement. I am not even remotely going to consider myself all knowing when it comes to raising children, nor am I the best educated on what works vs. what doesn't.

In the last few months I have been trying to choose the best products and nutrition for our boys , due the unnecessary chemicals that alot of our foods and products contain. It is almost sickening the amount of preservatives needed to maintain shelf life. If you take the time to research everything you use for hygiene and every edible product that you consume, I guarantee, you will be overwhelmed with the amount of poisons we are introduced to on a daily basis.

Don't get me wrong, I am not endorsing that you throw away everything you consume and start over, I am merely stating that 100% research and listing/comparing the pros and cons is essential to making an educated decision. Here are a few things that have researched in full and have decided to use for the (additional) well being of our family. I do have a point to this post, but for my own amusement, I want to list a few things that we have come to love b/c of thier nutritional benefit. Just a few are: Soy Milk, Organic 2% milk, Cage Free brown eggs, Organic Sugar and Huggies Sensitive Wipes (there are better wipes out there, but due to budget reasons, these were the least harmful due to my personal research).

There is one item that I would like to share a bit about, one in which I did not feel needed much research b/c it is 100% natural. Hylands' Teething Tablets. I have been raving about them to friends, and they came highly recommended to myself as well. We did not even know they existed until a couple of years ago, so I opted to try them with Cole. If you haven't paid much attention to my ramblings, please read this carefully. I HAVE NOT had any negative experiences with this product, however, after taking Cole to his 9 month check up, my pediatrician instructed me to IMMEDIATELY stop giving them to Cole. They have been proven to cause problems in the central nervous system which was news to me! I came home and did research and found the following information. Note: after reading this, please keep in mind that I can attest to Cole seeming very "groggy" and "drunk" like. I just though it was better than giving him Motrin or Tylenol. Please make your own decisions as to whether teething tablets or OTC drugs are best for your little one. I do believe that we all have our childs' best interest in mind, so let's do all of the research we can. I just felt obligated to share what I have learned today. Please take the time to read this. It is very important to me. I am unsure if I have entered this link correctly, so if I did not, please copy and paste into a new browser. Please tell me what you think! I am curious to hear your input and research.

Love,
Stephanie


http://talk.tuscmoms.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/5701077266/m/4581017386

my babies

Oops, I did it again...

About two weeks ago we added two new little goldfish to our sealife family. So, we had Zorro (now deceased), Mr. Noodle, Goldie #1 and Goldie #2, the twins. In an effort to make sure that they all were fed well, I gave all four of them just a little extra food. Well, that resulted in Zorro's untimely death. I have never been so upset over a fish, except for the time when I caught my first fish but the hook went through his little eye. I am devastated when creatures suffer, so when I came home to a "floater" two weeks ago, I couldn't get my thoughts off of the little guy. Well, time had passed and my heart had heeled, but my happy little fish haven was about to change for the 2nd time. I did it again, out of love, killed another one, just TODAY! I came home from taking Garrett and Cole to the park, only to find one of the goldie twins doing the motionless backstroke (aka kicked the bucket). I wasn't as upset as when Zorro went home to fishy heaven, but it was still disturbing. How can I be over feeding? I feed only once per day, so maybe it isn't my love of making sure my human children are fed, as well as those of an aquatic nature, after all. I don't know what is wrong. All I have to say is if I get this upset about a fish, how am I going to be on the day that Garrett and Cole want to bring home a puppy? You'd better buy me some stock in tissues, that is all I have to say.

He changes times and seasons...

I am blessed to be one small part of a weekly Bible Study where we are studying the book of Daniel via "Daniel" by Beth Moore. I have never been so spoken to through this book as I am now, in our present state (as a nation) of brokenness and fragility. Oh how awesome this new found knowledge and prophecy is! If you haven't given much thought into Daniel, please know that it is worth every minute of study, every breath and sound of your voice as you recite its prophetic words. These are to be known by heart on my tongue:

Daniel 2: 20-23

Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever. Wisdom and power are his. He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him. I thank and praise you, O God of my fathers: You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you, you have made known to us the dream of the king.

...Dear Lord, please reveal to me your awesome glory! I vow to learn from you and about you. I am yearning you and am passionate about being a deliberate pupil of yours, also known as a disciple. You know every detail of me and my soul, and I am not created in vain. I am not expendable. I am here for a purpose because you have told me so. In your precious sons' name Jesus, I pray to you... Amen.

100 things about me - inspired by Genevieve

Mike came home today and mentioned that Genevieve had done something really cool on her blog by listing 100 things we didn't know about her. So, Mike and I are borrowing the idea, but in order to save random inspiration for my own thoughts, I am refraining from reading Mike's and Genevieve's until I am finished. So, I hope you enjoy!

1. I am not a morning person but have to be for my boys.
2. I am not a night person but sometimes want to be.
3. The night life is not for me, except for on special occasions.
4. I love lots of hazelnut creamer and organic sugar in my coffee.
5. My favorite absence of color is white, very clean. I would have an entire white house if it didn't show so much dirt.
6. My favorite color is blue, any shade will do.
7. I love showers, I would take tons of them every day if it weren't a waste of time or of water and energy. I have "umpteen" bottles of shampoo, face wash, you name it, to better my shower experience.
8. I am turning into a "green" conscious person as much as I can afford to.
9. Fetal Position is my favorite way to sleep.
10. I need one top sheet and two additional blankets when I sleep for "cushi-ness".
11. I have a bad habit of leaving the lights on in rooms after I leave, but am working on it. See # 8.
12. I just had a small mole removed from the right side of my face for vanity reasons only.
13. The salted soft pretzel/drink combo at the Target concession area is a must EVERY time I go to shop.
14. I am becoming a coupon cutting crazed person!
15. Saving money is now a priority of mine. (Didn't used to be)
16. I try to replace my toothbrush every couple of months if not every month.
17. I love having fully stocked diaper stations in every room of the house.
18. I hate cleaning bathrooms but once I get started I like to see the result.
19. I love strawberries.
20. I get bored with my hair more often than I should.
21. I own too many shoes to count, and yes, you can have too many once you have no place to store them other than in a mound on the closet floor. (That is shoe abuse!)
22. I have been wearing the same pair of diamond stud earrings for the past 2.5 years. Mike bought them for me right after Garrett was born for Mothers Day.
23. I wear birthstone baby charms on my necklace, representing Garrett and Cole.
24. I love anytime spent with family.
25. I believe in this order: God, Family, Work
26. I am "decorating-ly" challenged.
27. I finish my husbands sentences (or at least I try) and it annoys him.
28. I sound like a breathy smoker when I am laughing really hard.
29. I love the show "Jon and Kate plus 8"...it makes me feel normal again.
30. I love coffee at night, caffeine doesn't bother me.
31. I spent more time sleeping than anything else when I was growing up.
32. I love the smell of Mike left on my shirt in the mornings, after he hugs me goodbye.
33. I love hygiene and toiletry items - lots of them
34. I think the color of my husbands' eyes are the best.
35. I love reminiscing about our dating days (all 60 days of them)
36. My favorite time of the year is NOW the fall.
37. Florida will always be home to me.
38. I have only been to 13 of the 50 states
39. I have never been out of the United States.
40. I have never been on a cruise.
41. I have never ridden a train other than at Disney.
42. I used to wear braces on my teeth
43. I used to wear thick glasses, then replaced by extended wear contacts
44. I no longer have to wear contacts since having Lasik in 1998.
45. I have worked at Winn Dixie, Target, Clothestime, Chilis, Christies Photographic Studios, Worldstrides Travel, Equitable Title, and Central Florida Mortgage.
46. The first car I bought myself was a 5-speed white Honda CRX
47. Cheerleading and Dance is a favorite past time.
48. 2009 will be 15 years since graduating high school.
49. I am still technically in my Junior Year of college - one of these days I will finish.
50. I am taking a self paced 2 year photography course as we speak.
51. Daniel is currently my new favorite book of the Bible.
52. I have been engaged twice, 1996 and 2005, obviously the last one worked out. :)
53. I despise holiday themed fluffy sweaters.
54. Extremely worn shoes are a no-no in my book.
55. Speaking of shoes, I walk really hard on mine.
56. I wear only two rings, my engagement and wedding ring.
57. I accidentally killed Zorro - Garrett's gold fish. (PS Feed them too much and they WILL eat themselves to death)
58. I conducted my first funeral this year (for Zorro)
59. I officially conducted a marriage ceremony in 2006 while living in Florida - I was a notary Public.
60. I tried surfing but couldn't make it out past the waves.
61. I went on a gambling boat with friends only to sit on a bench and sleep due to boredom.
62. I used to swing dance ALOT.
63. I have 2.5 kidneys but should only have 2. (I know, ewwww)
64. I have a brown freckle on my right eye.
65. I swore against mini-vans before having kids. I changed my mind.
66. I used to french braid all of my friends hair before softball games in high school.
67. My first cabbage patch kid wasn't until I was out of high school. Mine were always home made.
68. My favorite comforter of all time was the one my mom made me when I was a little girl. Lavender with pink flowers.
69. I still see myself physically the way I was BEFORE children. We all know that is a warped sense of reality.
70. I haven't read a book in its entirety since college.
71. I will never stop loving coming home to my mom and dad.
72. I used to drive a new, red, Toyota Tacoma truck but got rid of it after it was in 3 major accidents. One per year until I traded it in.
73. My younger brother was my roommate one year in my twenties - when we lived in downtown Orlando.
74. I am the middle child.
75. I have a major 'tude on me but am working on it through God's help.
76. I get annoyed at clutter and junk laying around. We are still going through garbage that we moved up here from Florida. It bugs me.
77. I am anal about how clean dishes are and the sink and all counters must be wiped down in their entirety before the dishes are considered "finished".
78. I fall asleep way too often with my makeup on and teeth unbrushed. I feel disgusting when I wake up. I didn't used to have this bad habit, but am trying to break it now.
79. I love drinking water (now).
80. I chased my little brother around the house with a knife when we were little b/c he wouldn't leave me alone. I wasn't going to hurt him but it got my point across. I still have nightmares about his scared little face. He doesn't remember but I do.
81. I went to a Christian school my entire life and loved it.
82. My favorite lotion is Ginger Souffle by Origins.
83. My all time favorite store is Ann Taylor followed by The Limited.
84. I try to be trendy but find that sticking with my conservative, sophisticated look works better for me.
85. I want to have 4-5 children before I turn 40.
86. I lived in Florida for 25 years straight.
87. I was born in Kingsport, Tennessee.
88. I love the smell of clean clothes and fabric softener (although it is bad)
89. My brothers pushed me off of the top bunk bed when i was young - it hurt.
90. I sang in church alot when I was growing up, until I realized my voice wasnt all that great in my opinion.
91. I strive to be a best friend but feel these days I don't have one to call my own.
92. I feel alone 90% of the time.
93. Our bedroom is in major need of new bedding and a general makeover but we love our "worn in" bedding. It is like your favorite jeans, just right.
94. I prefer one story houses but have found that they are rare in TN.
95. I went into labor with Garrett on my 30th birthday.
96. I can go a full day with only looking in the mirror once when I wake up.
97. I am accepting the "un-made-up" version of me. I am like that most of the time.
98. I used to do Calligraphy very well and could mimic just about any handwriting. Not so much now, I don't have time to try.
99. I took golf lessons and actually liked it.
100. I stay up way too late doing stuff like this just for the heck of it. Goodnight!

A new friend of mine sent this to me today... it is refreshing

Ps 62:-8
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from Him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation;
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God;
He is my mighty rock, my refuge.

Trust in Him at all times, O people;
Pour out your hearts to Him,
for God is our refuge.

Free stuff from Walgreens - Saturday 10/11/08

Ladies:



As most of you know, I have been clipping coupons like a mad woman since every dollar counts these days. In the midst of it all, I came across some FREE items, but you have to act now because they are only on sale through today. For Walgreen’s, pick up the free “Easy Saver” catalog before shopping, which should be at the register or near the beauty section. For my out of state friends/family, don’t quote me on this sale, b/c it might just be in my area. It wouldn’t hurt to check it out. There also tons of other cleaning items in the easy saver catalog (rebates) that you can combine with coupons printed from www.rightathome.com or www.couponmom.com which end up being .49 each. There are so many to list, I don’t have time b/c I have to run out to Walgreen’s in just a few minutes to get these deals myself. I just wanted to share with you the FREE items right off of the bat.



Oh, and Walgreen’s eggs are .99 here so check your local store.



Okay, here we go.



1 – Scrubbing Bubbles Automatic Shower Cleaner Kit – sale $19.99 minus $10 coupon printed from www.rightathome.com, minus another $10 mail in rebate from the easy saver catalog = FREE

2 – Rimmel Lasting Finish Foundation $7.49 with $7.49 mail in rebate = FREE

3 – L’oreal Face Cleanser $7.00 with $7.99 mail in rebate = FREE



As I come across some great deals, I will let you know! J My job is to be the best mother and wife that I can, so helping us save money is HUGE. I am so excited about this, I wanted to share it with you. Happy Shopping ladies!

Skype - the new way to keep in touch

I am so amazed (and scared) of technology today. But, in this case, I am so impressed with the opportunity we have to talk to loved ones like they are right beside us via Skype. My parents, (and entire family for that matter), are back home in Orlando, FL. We have recently vowed to take a few minutes every weekend to talk to one another as if we were on the phone, but with the added benefit of being able to see one another. It is so cool! I woke up this morning to the angelic 2 1/2 year old voice, singing "Mooommmmmyyyyy" through the monitor. I dragged myself out of bed, got both boys in my lap, and met my parents this morning on the world of Skype. Garrett and Cole got to see their Grandma and Grandpa for a short while and we loved it.

So, my feelings of sadness for my boys not being able to grow up with their six cousins in FL is lessened now that we can AT LEAST get a glimpse into each others every day life. I personally log into skype with our MAC laptop (camera is already installed in the screen) and take my FL family for a walk around our home; I am eager to show them the changing of the leaves here soon. And perhaps a little snow this winter? Maybe, maybe not, but thank you for SKYPE. Without it, I would not have the blessed day that I now have this morning. :)

Seasonal Friend

Can I just say that the last couple of days have been so pleasant outside; the weather is changing and it got me thinking about the word "change". I have been feeling very insecure about a few friendships that started when I first got here to Nashville, but now, those very same friendships have kind of sizzled a bit and are on thier way into what I call a "seasonal friend" status. I am very saddened by this, but I know God is in control and has a reason for everything. Should I still reach out to these ladies? I don't know...

I wrote a blog about a year and a half ago, shortly after we moved to Nashville. (May 2007 to be exact) This sums up perfectly what I am feeling right now, so I want to share it with you.



"...Okay, I very rarely get on here to talk about life and such, but today I really feel a broken heart coming on and I wonder sometimes, am I the only one out there that feels this way? If you are curious, please keep reading. I know there is a reason I felt so strongly about picking up my writing today.

When I was a child, I grew up in a wonderful home, went to a wonderful Christian school and had lots of friends. Although it was very easy for me to make friends, there was never a time in my life that I really had to work hard to meet new friends. They were all by my side, a guaranteed thing. No matter where I went or what I did, friends were around.

Do we forget how to make and keep friends as life takes us through responsibilities, new jobs, new scenery? Take yourself out of a comfort zone and then you will see your life and those around you for what they are. It takes hard work to maintain friendships, sometimes even a life time worth of patience, laughs, tears, promises, life changing events...these are the things that make friends family, and what a glorious thing it is to have friends that are like your brother or sister. It does take effort though...friends are like flames. They can ignite very fast, but burn out by the slightest thunderstorm, be a shining light, burn you, or warm you, or even stand the test of time and burn until the end.

Most of us have seen the movies where friends meet in elementary school and they live their life together, no matter what "seasonal friend" may cross their path. They still have time for their one true earthly friend, their safe house, the person that they wouldn't mind sharing their vulnerabilities with. It is an amazing thing, friendship that can endure the test of time. I thought I had that when I was young...

Skip ahead 20 years and here I am, the same friend as I have always been, just a little less naive, a little wiser and a little more experiences to add to my plate of LIFE. I have had many a broken hearts when it comes to friends and many who have come and gone, with the purpose of being a "seasonal friend".

You know, I truly believe that God places friends in our lives to serve a purpose...maybe a listening ear when no one else is around...but then when you heal, and your cries have been heard, their time with you as a friend is done and they must move on to the next in need.

Is it possible to give yourself too much? Is it possible to become the safe friend that people come to for advice or comfort, because you have proven yourself to be such a comforting arm to lean on? Is it possible to become the friend that people only come to in time of need? What happened to living life together? If this is true, whom do you go to for the same? That is where I am right now...

I just have my head full of things I want to say, dreams, aspirations and desires to share...things that only us girls like to talk about. When I go to pick up the phone, I wish I were calling the one friend, besides my wonderful Lord and Savior, that knew me like no other, that had a moment to stop what she was doing to talk to me, to put her plans and commitments aside for just a moment so that I could lean on her. The one friend that asks me how my day was and if I would like to take a couple of minutes off from life and toss my cares aside, leaning on her for comfort. Sometimes you never know if someone is burning inside, just hoping for you to invite them into your world for just a moment here and there. Friends are only a phone call away, but being a hands length away is even sweeter.

The part that upsets me the most is not knowing the difference between a seasonal friend and a friend for life. We were made for companionship and especially as females, we value intimacy and connection. We long for this and it runs so deep. At least it does for me.

I ask myself one thing, amidst all of the many questions in life, am I meant for seasonal friendships only? Am I here to be a listener and comforter? If so, when is it my time to lean? And on whom will I have the blessing to lean on?"

scary stuff

Have you seen the new show on Tuesday nights called FRINGE? As in fringe science? I was going to post the meaning of fringe science but figured most of you already know what it means (unlike me, I am in la-la land half the time, so knowing the latest and greatest is so far from being true for me). I don't even want to research it due to the fact that I am shaking right now, and my heart is racing with fear as I write this.

Anyway, my point is this. It is SCARY. Only one word needed to describe this sort of science. SCARY, SCARY, SCARY. I am not scared of the show, I am more scared of the fact that fringe science is very real and is happening somewhere in this world, this very moment.

Sidebar - Mike and I have been contemplating trying for a third baby soon after Cole turns one year, but after the realization of how horrible and frightening this world is turning into, I hate to bring any other innocent human being into it. I will admit, openly, that I am wrong about "not wanting to bring other children" into this place. I need to lean on God's promises to us as Christians. I have been looking for some scripture to help me through this, as I am really terrified. Perhaps you are reading this thinking that I am going a little overboard, but I can tell you with my heart and soul, that I have not been this terrified in quite some time. I know we are to multiply and replenish the earth, but why am I more scared of what this world might do to our children versus what God has promised to them as a Christian? (that is if/when they accept Christ as their personal savior. I say "if" b/c even though Mike and I have vowed to raise our children in a Godly home and bring them up in the ways of the Lord, it is still their decision...this is an entirely different subject so let me move on to what I was originally saying).

I am scared and can't shake this. If you have any scriptures at your fingertips, please send them my way. I have to head to bed, but want to pick this up again tomorrow.

Good Night to you all...